Your Eating Disorder Voice is communicating something. Your Healthy Voice is communicating something. Often, these “Voices” are competing with each other, but what are they really trying to say?
I often talk to clients about the “Eating Disorder Voice” and the “Healthy Voice.” Part of the treatment for an eating disorder is to make the Healthy Voice louder (bigger) while decreasing the Eating Disorder Voice.
The Eating Disorder Voice yells, “You are fat”; “You’ll get fat if you eat that”; “You don’t fit in with others because you are fat”; “You can’t eat that, you need to lose weight”; “You don’t look good in those clothes”; and on and on. What are some of the things your Eating Disorder Voice says?
This Voice can become quite loud and obnoxious and drives you to diet, to obsess about food and your body, and to engage in eating disorder behaviors such as:
· Comparing your body to others
· Comparing what you eat with what others are eating
· Keeping clothes in your closet that don’t fit with the goal that one day they will again
· Exercising too much or resisting exercise
· Dressing to hide your body
· Negative self talk when thinking about your body or about food
· Obsessing about food, weight, exercise
· Paying more attention to your body, food, etc than your relationships with yourself or others
· Chronic Dieting or thinking about dieting
· Talking about being fat
· Eating too much or not enough
· Thinking life will be better if you lose weight
· Perfectionist thinking
· Black and white thinking
The “Healthy Voice” is the part of you that doesn’t want to do the above behaviors or believe the things the Eating Disorder Voice says. However, this Voice is usually very small. My guess is it is much more difficult to recognize.
I think the part of you that wants to binge is the Healthy Voice. I know this is hard to grasp, but think about it like this: when you binge, you are basically telling that Eating Disorder Voice, “I will not let you starve me again. I need food and if you won’t let me eat it in peace, I will demand it!” Thus, you binge.
I know it isn’t communicating very clearly and it may be difficult to get this, especially as you are bringing that chocolate cake to your mouth with the intent to eat it all and maybe more. However, whenever you can (even if hours after the binge), try to acknowledge that this is what happened. Go further and give it kudos for doing so; this is the healthy part of you.
Keep in mind that this sequence does not need to be exclusive to those with anorexia (literal starving) but holds true for dieting or even thinking with diet mentality. Dieting is very similar to starving, as far as your body and emotions are concerned. Dieting is restriction. When foods are restricted, you crave them more because in essence, you are starving yourself of these foods. After years of dieting or even feeling bad about eating something “bad”, your emotional response is that of starvation. As far as the binge part of you is concerned, “this is the LAST time I can eat this because it is going to go away tomorrow. I better eat it all up and more before that happens.” It is the Last Meal before the diet. If you have been on this rollercoaster for years, this can be pretty intense.
Therefore, your Healthy Voice is the part of you that is binging, because it knows that dieting doesn’t work and wants you to stop.
Labeling these two parts helps you to understand what is going on. Learning to really hear what is being communicated can help you free yourself from the torture.
How about the Eating Disorder Voice; what is it trying to communicate?
To help you find out, answer these questions: What does being fat mean to you? If you get fat or if you are fat, what does that mean about you? What might happen? What if that does happen? Imagine that happening to you right now. What feelings come up?
If you lead yourself through these questions, my guess is you will come to realize that at the core is a fear of not being loved, accepted; a fear of being alone, completely without anyone.
This may stem from being told, directly or indirectly, that this was true. Imagine a mother putting her child on a diet while telling her how important it is to be thin so she 먹튀검증커뮤니티 will have friends. To a child, this translates to “I won’t be accepted if I am fat.” Imagine a boy/girl you liked in school telling you that you eat a lot (even indirectly). You decide no one will want you/love you if you are fat. These are just some examples I have heard from others. What is your story?